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CHALLENGES

Going Back to School: What to Expect
Talking With Your Child About School

Going Back to School: What to Expect
It's exciting to prepare for your child's return to school. Your child may be looking forward to reestablishing his or her normal routine and seeing friends again, and you may feel happy and relieved that this time has finally come. But, there can also be some challenges to anticipate. It can help make the return to school easier for you, your child, and your child's teachers if everyone is prepared and knows what to expect. Below are some common concerns so you can be prepared.

• Lack of Knowledge About Cancer
  Your family has probably learned a lot about cancer and cancer treatments in the time since your child was diagnosed. Your child's peers and teachers will likely not be as knowledgeable, which can lead to misunderstandings.
  
  
  • After your child has been diagnosed with cancer, contact the principal as soon as possible about your child's condition. This can help establish open lines of communication between you and the school, which will be important as your child returns to school.
    
    
  • Teachers and other school personnel will need to know about limitations on your child's daily activities, including physical education classes and recess activities.
    
    
  • It can also help to alert teachers to any upcoming prolonged absences or dietary rules your child might have to follow as a result of treatment.
    
    
  • Specific educational concerns should be addressed with your child's teachers as soon as possible after returning to school.
    
    

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• Changes in School Performance
  Some types of cancer and cancer treatments can create temporary changes in the ability to concentrate in class or learn new material, which can affect a child's performance in school. This can make returning to school frustrating for both your child and your child's teachers. Trouble with reading, writing, and math can indicate learning difficulties resulting from the changes in your child's health. If you notice that your child is having memory or organization difficulties, or he or she is not performing in school at his or her normal level, talk with your child or your child's teachers about what is going on at school.
  
  

  There are certain accommodations schools must make for children with disabilities, including chronic conditions such as cancer. Visit Legal Information for a description.

  
  
  
• Teasing
  Physical changes that result from treatments, such as hair loss, skin discoloration, or changes in body weight, can be embarrassing for some children. Your child may not feel comfortable explaining these changes to his or her peers. Also, classmates who do not understand cancer may ask insensitive questions or tease a child upon his or her return to school. As a parent, you need to be aware of any changes in your child's typical behavior that may indicate he or she is having a hard time adjusting to returning to school. You may wish to talk with your child's teachers to alert them to these concerns. Remind your child that he or she can always talk to you or other family members about school, too.
  
  

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• Other Health Concerns
  Illnesses that spread quickly and are common in schools, like colds, the flu, or chickenpox, can cause additional health problems for your child. Hygiene is especially important for your child and your child's classmates during this time. Also, cancer and cancer treatments can make your child tired easily. Make sure your child isn't trying to do too much during his or her first weeks back in school.
  

Talking with Your Child About School
Though your child may be excited to go back to school, he or she may also feel nervous and anxious about resuming lessons and explaining cancer to classmates. Before that first day back, talk with your child as early as possible about his or her concerns. You can help put some of your child's fears to rest and keep the outlook positive. Below are some common concerns children with cancer have about going back to school and suggestions for how you can help.

• Explaining Cancer to Classmates
  Your child has shown extraordinary bravery by coping with the physical and emotional challenges of having cancer. Going back to school can put that bravery to the test. Your child's classmates will probably be curious and might not know how to phrase their questions in a sensitive manner. Your child can tell classmates, "I have cancer and I've been out of school getting treatments to make me better. Cancer is an illness, but you can't catch it like a cold or the flu."
  
  One of the most common fears school-age children have about cancer is that it is contagious. It is important for your child's classmates to understand that they cannot catch cancer from your child. Prepare your child for the kinds of questions commonly asked by school-age children. Role-playing questions and responses can give your child the confidence he or she needs to talk to classmates about cancer. You and your child can visit My Classmate Has Cancer, Going Back to School, and the Presentation Helper for more information that can help your child become comfortable talking to peers about cancer.
  

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• Catching Up on Schoolwork
  Your child might have missed a lot of school during treatment. Even after returning to school, the fatigue that often accompanies treatments may leave your child with little energy for keeping up with homework. It can take away from the excitement of going back if your child fears a stern response from his or her teachers about missing lessons. Assure your child that teachers understand why he or she has been out of school and will make sure that he or she receives extra time to catch up on schoolwork. You can suggest that your child seek out supportive classmates for help too.
  
  
• Changes in Physical Appearance
  Some cancer treatments cause hair loss, skin discolorations, and changes in body weight. If your child experienced any of these side effects due to treatments, he or she may be worried about being teased by classmates. Explain to your child that classmates may be curious and ask questions. Your child should be prepared to offer a simple explanation such as, "I look different because of the medicine I take to treat my cancer. Once I stop taking it, I'll look like my old self again." Try to make sure your child understands that most children will not tease once they understand about cancer and cancer treatments.
  
  
• Staying Healthy
  Cancer and cancer treatments make children more susceptible to catching illnesses like colds, the flu, or chickenpox. Because these illnesses spread quickly and are common in schools, your child should understand that it's important to observe simple rules of hygiene, such as washing hands after going to the bathroom or using a tissue. Also, cancer and treatments can make children very tired. Your child may not be able to partake in physical education or recess activities, which can be disappointing. Explain to your child that once the treatments stop, he or she should be able to rejoin classmates in these activities.

Remember that no matter how well prepared your child may be, there can still be times when he or she will be scared and upset about going back to school. Stay supportive, and remind your child of how far he or she has come in treatment already. Have your child visit Going Back to School to read about the concerns described above. Most importantly, let your child know that he or she can talk to you.

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