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MY BROTHER OR SISTER HAS CANCER
If your brother or sister has cancer, you probably have a lot of different feelings about it. Kids whose brothers or sisters have cancer often say that they feel:
Scared |
Worried |
Sad |
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Lonely |
Jealous |
Guilty |
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Angry |
Confused |
Embarrassed |
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It's okay to have these feelings! In fact, it's pretty common.
It doesn't mean you're a bad person. It can be really
hard for you if your brother or sister has cancer.
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One of the best things you can do if you're having these feelings
is to talk to your parents or another adult you trust. |
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You can also spend time learning about the kind of cancer your
brother or sister has and what their treatments are like. You might
feel better when you learn more about it. |
Here are some things to know that can make this time easier for
you:
- Your parents might need to spend more time with your
brother or sister.
Your brother or sister with cancer will probably need a lot more
of your parents' time and attention than they did before they
got sick. Your parents will have to take him or her to the doctor
for treatments or make sure that your brother or sister takes his
or her medicine.
This can mean that your parents have less time to spend with you.
Some kids feel angry or hurt about that. You may feel jealous
of the time your parents spend with your brother or sister, or
guilty that you want your parents to pay more attention to you.
These are all normal ways to feel.
It can help to talk about your feelings during this time. Try
to tell your parents how you feel. They won't be upset with you!
You could also try talking to another adult you trust, like an
aunt or uncle, or a grandparent. Your teacher is another person
you can talk to. There are also support groups where kids like
you, whose brothers or sisters have cancer, meet to talk about
what they're going through. An adult can help you find a support
group in your area.
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- You might be scared that you did something to cause
the cancer, or worried that your brother or sister might die.
Sometimes, kids feel like they did something that caused their
brother or sister to get cancer. You didn't! There is nothing
you or anyone else did that caused your brother or sister to get
cancer. Cancer isn't contagious. You can't catch it or give it
to someone else, like a cold.
It's normal to worry about people who are sick. You probably have
lots of questions. Talk to your parents or another adult you trust
about your worries. It's okay to ask questions.
- Your brother or sister may look different than they
did before they had cancer.
Some cancer treatments can cause hair to fall out. Other treatments
can make kids gain or lose weight. These are side effects of cancer
treatments. If this happens, don't make fun of your brother or
sister. Cancer treatments are really hard for kids. Once the cancer
treatments are over, hair grows back, and the other side effects
will stop, too.
- Your brother or sister may get tired quickly. They may
not be able to do some of the things they used to do before getting
cancer or having cancer treatments.
Another common side effect of cancer treatments is that kids can
feel really tired and have less energy than they used to. Your
brother or sister may not be able to play outside after school
or on the weekends. Kids with cancer sometimes have to miss school
because the treatments make them so tired. It's hard for kids
when they can't do the things they want to do because they feel
too tired. When the treatments are over, their energy will come
back.
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- Your brother or sister is the same person he or she
was before having cancer.
Although kids with cancer may look a little different or get tired
more easily, your brother or sister is still the same person he
or she was before having cancer treatments. They still want to
do all of the things they used to do before having cancer. They
want to share in activities at home. They might want to talk about
what it's like to have cancer, or they might want to talk about
anything else.
- How you can help your family.
Having a brother or sister with cancer can be hard on you and
your family. While your brother or sister is getting treatments,
your family routine might change a lot. You can help your family
by doing some simple things. Here are some suggestions:
- Help out with the chores, even if it's not your turn. Take
out the trash, wash the dishes after dinner, or walk the family
dog.
- Spend time with your brother or sister playing games
and doing things he or she enjoys.
- Talk to your brother or sister about how he or she is
feeling.
- Talk to your parents about how you feel. They want to know.
- Ask questions about anything you don't understand. Your parents or brother or sister will be able to explain things to you.
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